Mystery Blue Macaw Theater 3000
by Ted Wakeman
Summary: In the not too distant future, a group of four birds riff the worst fanfiction ever created. You're free to join the party, as long as you've got a sense of humor and the thirst for some fun! Welcome back to Mystery Blue Macaw Theater 3000! Hop right on in for the riffing of a lifetime from everyone's favorite birds!
1. The Big Scoop (I)

**Miss me?...  
**

**...**

_**In the not too distant future, **_

_**June 2014, A.D.**_

_**There was a guy named Ted**_

_**not different from you or me**_

_**He worked at writing fanfiction,**_

_**just another face in computer fiction**_

_**He wrote a story about birds riffing all over the place  
**_

_**But FanFiction didn't like it so they shot it into space!**_

_**He'll send them cheesy fanfics,**_

_**the worst that he can find**_

_**The birds will have to sit and riff them all,**_

_**so he can entertain your minds!**_

_**Now keep in mind he can't control,**_

_**when the stories begin or end  
**_

_**Because he used that knowledge all to write Rio fics again!**_

_**If you're wondering how this'll get past sites rules,  
**_

_**and other science facts**_

_**Repeat to yourself, "It's just a story"**_

_**"I really should RELAX!"**_

_**For Mystery Blue Macaw Theater 3000!**_

_**...**_

**Blu: Why are we here again, exactly?**

**Pedro: Because the last story got taken down. You think we're givin' up after all that?**

**Blu: But it's been a good...two or three years?**

**Nico: Hey, we age like wine! Gettin' better with age!**

**Jewel: After what just came out, we should all really talk about "getting better with age"...**

**Pedro: Hey, that is _direction_ that messed us up back in April! We're pretty good at gettin' a good movie out!**

**Nico: Maybe...just not a good sequel...**

**Pedro: Shut up!**

**Blu: Is there even going to be an explanation as to WHY we're just continuing the riffing and all from the last time? No background, no setting, no...**

**Jewel: Let's just start this stupid story before Blu blows a fuse...**

**THE BIG SCOOP**

**Pedro: It's SO big, we needed to hold down Caps Lock!**

**Blu:-No establishment of WHY we're still here...**

Chapter 1

A Surprise Visit

It had been only mere days since Blu had successfully flown and proclaimed his love to Jewel.

**Nico: Already sounds like the setup to a bad "Airplane" sequel...**

Days since the greatest journey of his life, that lead him from the small bookstore in "Tiny-Sota" to Rio, a place he'd likely live the rest of his life in, with his friends he had only known for a short time, and still held near to him, and of course Jewel, his one and only love of his life...

This certain day began like any other, only it was strangely quiet in the forest where all the birds called their home.

**Jewel: So it..._wasn't_ a day like any other, then?...**

**Pedro: I also don't think we needed to be told where we live...Ain't it pretty obvious?**

**Blu: You take this author for a genius. That, this author is not.**

With no enemies to plague them, the birds were living in perfect harmony.

**Jewel: Except hawks**

**Blu: And spiders  
**

**Pedro: And vultures  
**

**Nico: Oh my!**

**Jewel: But besides that, NO ENEMIES!**

Of course, sleep was a top priority for them after the amazing last few days.

**Nico: "Dear Blu had been rather _frisky_, ya see..."**

**Blu: Shut it!**

As well as this unusually quiet afternoon, Blu was currently exploring the jungle, still trying to learn the ways of his new home.

**Blu: Left tree, right tree, up tree, down tree...Yep, definitely the ways...**

**Pedro: What, you playin' Battleship or somethin' over there?...**

Along with him were his friends Rafael, Pedro and Nico. This was an apparent "tour" that was provided by his Toucan buddy. Free of charge, apparently.

**Pedro: "Until Rafael mercilessly beat him afterwards and demanded payment..."**

"So, any other questions Blu amigo?" Rafael asked with an open smile. That was a quality Blu always noticed. Rafael was always sportin a smile that showed off a great soul with a smooth-thinking way of life.

**Jewel: He could tell by a the bill of a bird because...they're so very expressive, aren't they?**

"Well yeah. I mean, what time does the sun go down? When is it the best time to be back here? When should I be aware that the 'other birds' will be into their singing, because I have a strange feeling the kids won't be too happy about the noise..."

**Blu: So according to this writer, I'm a soccer mom. Lovely.**

Blu rambled, suddenly lowering his voice to a squeak at the tail end of his questionare. Pedro and Nico tried hard to hold back their laughter at the mention of kids.

**Nico: Because we're immature and stupid like that!**

**Pedro: Yeah!..Well wait, we kinda are-**

**Nico: Shut up.**

Blu already assumed Jewel was going to take it THAT far...And why not, Blu wondered. Jewel was his perfect bird, the one that he loved, and he had a good feeling no one would take that away.

"Blu...You gotta learn that every bird here has to listen to the music the birds have made. It's not the peace that is loved by all us birds in Rio, it's the love of music and the melodies we've lived with! That my friend, is what will matter most for your ninos." Rafael said with a smile of assurance.

**Pedro: That sounds..._really cheesy._**

**Blu: Just pretend the writer took pointers from the Cheez-It box...  
**

Blu thought for a moment and then sighed with a smile.

**Jewel: "It was then that Rafael realized that Blu had relieved himself all over the tree branch..."**

**Blu: Jewel!**

"I guess you're right." Blu agreed with a laugh.

"And I'm sure Jewel will agree with me too. In case you didn't notice, you both love music! Why deprive your children of it?" Rafael asked, further unintentionally making Blu feel like the bad guy.

"Yeah, that makes me feel good..." Blu sighed as he lowered his head shamefully.

"Come on amigo, I know you wouldn't do anything like that! Besides, there's plenty of time left before you and and Jewel...Get intimate." Rafael muttered, trying not to make the situation awkward. Once again, Pedro and Nico had to hold back laughs. Nico began to speak, but then needed to hesitate so he could keep a straight face.

**Blu: "DURHUR, SEX IS FUNNY!"**

**Pedro: That was pretty blunt, Blu...**

**Blu: That's the only way this writer is writing right now!**

"Come on Blu. Let's head down to The Branch and get down!" Pedro exclaimed, ready to fly down to the club where Blu made his first huge impression on Jewel.

"Sorry Pedro, I can't. Jewels making me stay here. Making a nest isn't all what it's cracked up to be."

**Blu: Just like how using apostrophes is apparently not what it's cracked-up to be, as you clearly forgot them.**

Blu said with a weak laugh. Pedro glanced over at Nico dejectingly, who just shrugged his shoulders.

"Alright, suit yourself amigo. Just don't come running back to us when you're getting lonely! Rio isn't a nice place for birds at night!" Rafael called as he flew off with Pedro and Nico. Blu scoffed at this statement, and then headed back to his nest deeper back in the woods.

"What did Rafael mean by that? I can handle Rio. I've stayed in one piece since I first got here!"

**Jewel: Barely...**

**Blu: Hey!**

Blu said to himself, to which a few birds suddenly took notice of, mainly younger parrots.

**Pedro: "The older parrots were on their lunch break..."**

"Mommy, what's the crazy blue bird talking about?" A baby parrot with a high voice asked his mother.

"Let's go, kids." The mother bird said quickly, turning her younglings around and pushing them away from the area.

**Jewel: A talking blue bird must _really _scare parents, huh?**

**Blu: That's not what the box office returns say...**

Blu suddenly felt rejected from the sudden confused looks he was receiving. Was he really this much of an outcast?

**Nico: Considern' you're a bird...No, not really.**

At least Jewel understood, Blu thought. The love of his life had never ceased to treat him like he belonged, and it was because she knew he belonged...But why couldn't Blu believe that?

**Pedro: Ya got some inferiority complex in this thing, Blu**

**Blu: Is anybody EVER going to make me look respectable in these stories?**

Blu finally reached the tree him and his love Jewel were constructing their nest in.

**Nico: I'm beginnin' to notice that every sentence Jewel is mentioned in this thing, the word 'love' follows it...**

**Pedro: It's like Moulin Rouge all over again...**

It was a practical nest, filled with twigs and such.

**Blu: The nestiest nest that ever nested. Did I mention it was a nest?**

However, Blu suddenly noticed a blue figure through a hole leading to the nest, fast at work as well. At first, Blu thought it was Jewel, but something made him think otherwise...

"Why is there someone in our nest?" Jewel asked, suddenly appearing next to Blu, who almost jumped out of skin.

**Jewel: That's right, I have the power to teleport. I forgot about that.**

**Pedro: No kiddin'?**

"There's someone in our nest?" Blu asked frantically, not realizing it until now. Jewel gave Blu a somewhat-angry look, to which Blu suddenly changed his expression to act like he knew it.

"I mean...There's someone in our nest!" Blu exclaimed with resolute in his voice.

**Pedro: "And in this scene, you can clearly see a sequence of Jewel forcing Blu to grow some jewels..."**

**Blu: Lovely, puns...**

"Hey buddy, what are you doing in our nest?" Blu called up to the strange bird in his nest. A small, blue head suddenly poked out of tree's hole.

"Hello? Who said that?" A bird asked in a voice that sounded like it belonged to a fast-talking headliner reporter from the 1950s.

**Blu: "Yeah, see! Knickbockers and the Yankees, see!"**

**Nico: "Or the fat lady gets it, see?!"**

**Jewel: I like how the author makes it so integral that he sounds like a reporter from the 1950s...**

"I said, what are you doing in our nest?" Blu yelled again. The bird turned his head toward Blu, and then suddenly smiled widely. The bird quickly flapped his wings and fluttered down to meet with Blu and Jewel.

Blu immeadetly noticed something strange...He looked, from beak to toe, EXACTLY like him. Same colors, same beak, everything.

**Blu: "It was then that Blu remembered he was subject to a cloning experiment that had gone terribly wrong...Now, whenever Blu gets angry or upset..."**

The only difference was an obvious show of age. The bird had gray streaks in his feathers, and some spots of his feathers were even missing. It was clear he was in a fight or two. Also, he was wearing a black fedora that looked like it belonged in the 50's, and he held a pen in his mouth and a large bag on his back.

**Blu: And we all thought fedoras looked bad on _people_...**

**Nico: Sounds pretty euphoric to me...**

The bird quickly looked at Blu and Jewel with a happy grin.

**Jewel: The fact he's grinning doesn't imply that he's happy?**

"Extra Extra! Reporter bird finds two of his kind!" The bird said rapidly with his newspaper headliner voice. Blu and Jewel were both surprised when he mentioned their kind. Weren't they the only blue McCaws left? That's what Tulio made clear of. That was only reason originally that Blu came in the first place.

**Blu: Evidently they forgot the part where the narrator described that he looked "exactly like them". Silly author, consistency is for _good _writers...**

"Wait, who are you?" Jewel asked, just as confused as Blu was. The strange McCaw laughed, and then took out a notepad and stuck the pen he had into one of his claws.

**Blu: "McCaw"? Sounds like the newest menu item at McDonalds...**

**Nico: Hey, I'd order a McCaw with a shake...**

"I'm sorry my fellow birds! My name is Arthur. Arthur Jenkins would be my full name! Former pet of the famous writer for the Lauderdale Gazette, Andrew Jenkins! Glad to meet ya!" Arthur said with his headliner voice not ceasing, rapidly shaking Blu and Jewel's hands firmly.

**Jewel: We happened to conveniently grow human appendages in that span of time...**

"So...What kind of bird are you exactly?" Blu asked, trying to figure this all out. Arthur squinted at Blu for a few seconds, and then began investigating him from top to bottom.

"Well, judging by wing span, beak size, eye size and overall looks, I'd say I'm the same kind of bird as you, my fine, feathered fellow!" Arthur said, sounding like he knew it all along.

"Wait, you're a blue McCaw too?" Jewel asked, extremely confused by all of this.

**Pedro: "A double Blue McCaw with cheese, hold the onions, with a diet soda!"**

"Yes, my dear! A full-blooded, pure-bred blue McCaw!" Arthur assured, even pointing to his surprisingly still-blue tail feathers.

**Blu: It was "surprising" due to the fact of how long this single scene has gone on that his tail remained such a color...**

Blu and Jewel both exchange 100% shocked expressions.

**Jewel: As opposed to..._how much_ percent of a shocked expression?...**

**Pedro: I'm guessing a perked eyebrow is about fifteen percent?  
**

**Blu: I'm still trying to solve why the tense of the story changed...**

Blu began to stutter non-sensically until he could finally sputter out his response.

**Blu: "It became clear that he was speaking in tongues, and thus was possessed by the devil."**

"...F...first of all, don't call my Jewel 'my dear'...Second, WHAT?" Blu screamed, absolutely losing his mind at this point. Arthur quickly whipped out his notepad once more.

**Jewel: He's likely drawing a picture of Blu's heading spinning at this point...**

**Nico: Either that or a big bulge on him to represent his "love" for Jewel...**

**Blu: Guys, this is a kids program!**

"Incredible story! Page 2 quality! Blue McCaws discover they're not the last of their kind! This is the big scoop I've been looking for!"

**Nico: Ah! **

**Blu: Ah ah! He said it! He said the title!**

**Pedro: Too bad the title was about as big as this chapter _got_...**

**Blu: Well come on, it wasn't _that_ bad...**

**Jewel: Bad things happen when you say that, Blu...**

**Blu: Well...maybe we should continue? It can't be terrible...**

**Nico: You wanna bet?**

**...**

**It's good to be back...**


	2. The Big Scoop (II)

**"'Impossible' is two letters away from 'possible'."**

**- Cr1tiKal  
**

**...**

(Note: To get an idea of Arthur's fast-talking "headliner" voice, think of a fast-talking Richard Gere. That would be the EXACT voice of Arthur.)

**Nico: Good to know!**

**Jewel: Who's Richard Gere?  
**

**Blu: Considering most of the people who are reading this story are NOT from the U.S, you're probably not the only one asking that...**

...

Chapter 2

McCaw Journalism

**Pedro: I'm starting to get the mental image in my head that a "McCaw" should be a menu item at McDonalds with a big, giant bird slopped into the middle of buns...Anybody else feelin' that?**

**Nico: Yep**

**Jewel: Mmhmm**

**Blu: Yessir**

"Wait, how could you POSSIBLY be a blue McCaw? I thought me and Jewel were the only ones left?" Blu asked, still taken aback by this sudden revelation.

"Oh please my chap, that's what the men in white make you think!"

**Blu: Hey! He's a conspiracy theorist!**

Arthur laughed, still writing notes rapidly into his notepad. Blu had no idea what this expression meant, and clearly showed it with the expression on his face.

**Jewel: See, even the characters don't understand what this author is writing about...**

"Who are...The Men in White?"

**Pedro: Tommy Lee and Will Smith's mortal enemies**

Blu asked. Arthur hesitated for a moment, then put his notepad away. Arthur then swiftly moved next to Blu in one flap of his wings.

"The doctors! The scientists! They always spread the lies just to cover the truth. If Mr. Jenkins taught me anything, that'd be that you can't trust those doctors." Arthur explained.

**Blu: Unless they arrive in big blue phone boxes...**

Unbelievable, thought Blu.

**Nico: I know, this story is awful...**

The fact that his own kind WASN'T hanging by a thread with him and Jewel. There was actually someone related to them. So many opportunities, so many questions...

**Jewel: "Blu eventually realized an orgy was the only way."**

**Blu: Stop that, Jewel!**

"Sorry for not asking about you two! The press would like to know who these fine couple of blue lovebirds are!" Arthur said rapidly, taking out a fake microphone and pushing the two blue McCaws together to make them look like they loved each other. Blu and Jewel both shared creeped-out looks before a blinding flash shook their eyeballs. It turned out Arthur also had a camera.

**Pedro: I really don't wanna know where he stores this stuff...**

**Blu: Probably the same place where the plot of this story is...Bagged and trapped...**

"This guy's really dedicated to his work..." Blu muttered to Jewel.

"You're not kidding..." Jewel groaned in an annoyed tone.

"So, what do you two handsome McCaws call yourselves?"

**Nico: "Big Mac and Quarter Pounder...with cheese"**

Arthur asked once again, his strange, silver eyes suddenly expanding widely in excitement.

**Pedro: Is he on crack or somethin'?...**

**Nico: "I gotta get my fix, man! I can't afford birdseed without it!"**

"Well...I'm Blu. I came here from Minnesota because...Well...this guy Tulio _thought _I was the last male of my kind, and took me and my owner here so I could mate with Jewel here..." Blu started, to which Arthur took another picture with the blinding, flashing camera.

**Blu: Let the record show that mating birds interests our new character**

"A exciting journey from Minnesota to Rio! You know, I've been to Minnesota, and quite frankly you guys have quite the weather pattern. Snow, snow and snow!" Arthur laughed, seeming to be having a wonderful time.

"And, this is Jewel, my mate." Blu continued, motioning to Jewel, who gave a small, unenthusiastic wave. Arthur took another picture, once again blinding the two McCaws.

**Nico: "Arthur liked stealing eyeballs"**

"Stop doing that!" Jewel yelled as she whacked the camera away.

"So, continue with your story my blue friend! It's beginning to become interesting!" Arthur said, motioning Blu to continue his spectacular tale.

"Well...Then she ended up finding out I couldn't fly...So then we got mixed up into this whole thing. We had to escape from this crazy cockatoo named Nigel, we met all these different kinds of birds, and in general Jewel showed me that flying wasn't about the brains, but following the rythme of my heart..." Blu said as he gave a loving look to Jewel, who did the same. Arthur began sniffeling a bit, obviously choked up by the story.

**Pedro: Either the story choked her up or the disregard'a grammar did...**

**Blu: Clearly she should have told the author to follow Spell-Check instead**

"Beautiful story, kid...Definetly on Page 1..." Arthur sniffled, keeping the tears from coming out. Arthur suddenly snapped back to normal, and continued writing notes on his notepad.

"Say Blu, you mentioned something about a cockatoo named Nigel. That wouldn't happen to be the same Nigel that starred in the TV show 'Fly Hard', would it?" Arthur asked, actually sounding less hyperactive than normal.

"Yep, same one." Jewel responded, still trying to get rid of the memories of the constant times the insane cockatoo had called her 'Pretty Bird'.

**Jewel: How would I even know that?**

**Blu: Plot convenience!**

"That's interesting. I have a friend from LA who knew him quite well...In fact, she replaced him on that show." Arthur said, suddenly sounding less hyperactive and more serious. Blu was suddenly very interested. He actually was a tad interested in this 'Petricious' that the cockatoo had sung about only a few days earlier.

**Jewel: Is that right, Blu?...**

**Blu: The author's words, not mine!**

**Nico: How'd you catch a song lyric like that, anyway?**

**Blu: The line got cut from the film, anyway!**

**Pedro: Stop breakin' the fourth wall!**

"Wow...You think we could meet her?" Blu asked, sounding interested. Jewel lightly nudged Blu and shook her head silently, trying to make it clear she didn't want to get involved with this strange McCaw that just...Showed up in their nest.

**Pedro: Either that or because she spotted the bulge in his pants...**

"Sure! Luckily, Petricious is quite a friendly bird for a 'famous actor'." Arthur whispered with a snicker. Blu laughed weakly, not understanding the humor behind the joke.

**Blu: It's because he said 'actor'. She's clearly a transvestite. **

"You can meet my other friends too! We stopped at that little bird club down in the city earlier! I'll meet you there!" Arthur exclaimed as he burst off towards the city of Rio de Janiero. Blu smiled eagerly, and was ready to take off as well, when Jewel grabbed him at the last second.

"Where do you think you're going?" Jewel asked in an almost motherly sort of tone.

**Jewel: "Not until you clean your room, mister!"**

**Blu: "But MOOOOOOOM..."**

"C'mon Jewel! He's going to be living around here anyway. The least we could do is introduce him and make sure he is comfortable! Remember how much of a wreck I was when I was a tourist?" Blu explained, sounding almost like a politician.

**Blu: What relation does introducing a bird to a jungle have to do with a politician?**

**Nico: Well he's old and dirty, so is a jungle, so...**

Jewel thought for a moment, and accepted defeat of the matter.

"Fine...But if he pulls anything like stealing our nest again, then we're never treating him like a friend again." Jewel said, still stuck on the mistake that occured a few moments ago.

"I knew you'd understand. Now let's go give our friend a welcome party he'll never forget!" Blu exclaimed, bursting off through the tree tops with Jewel following quickly as the sun began to set...

...

As soon as Blu and Jewel arrived at the small market where The Branch was located, the sun was nearly hitting the horizon, ready to send the cozy city of Rio de Janiero into the night-wild city it had the reputation to be. It was fairly easy for Blu to find The Branch, as the loud and proud sound of Samba could easily be heard from a mile away...With Blu's hearing, at least.

Blu craned his neck inside the small tarp covering the club, and could easily see the club was still the same as it was before. All birds having the time of their lives, and still numerous Health Code violations.

**Nico: Because health inspector birds _are_ a thing...**

**Blu: Especially for a race of animals that tend to defecate in their own living space...**

Blu walked in to suddenly be greeted by Pedro and Nico, who happened to be flying by.

"Hey Blu! You know about this guy?" Pedro suddenly greeted and asked as he pointed over to Arthur, who was dancing in an extremely bad fashion to the beat of _Balanco Carioca, _an extremely popular Brazilian tune that was even favored by Pedro and Nico. Even Blu cringed at the outdated fashion that his reporter friend was dancing in.

"Uh...Yeah! He's Arthur. You already meet him?" Blu asked, trying to speak over the loud music being played by a band of birds on the stage made from different objects further ahead.

"Met him? We sang with 'em! He's one cool dude!" Nico responded. Blu smiled in relief. At least he made a good first impression and didn't get on everyone's bad sides at first.

**Jewel: I would think an old bird who can't dance wouldn't be well-received in a club...**

**Nico: It's like stickin' a grandpa into a night club**

**Blu: "Ya crazy kids! Shut that loud music off!"**

"His friends ain't bad either! Lemme me get that crazy guy..." Pedro said as he quickly flew over and grabbed Arthur, who was still dancing wildly as he was being pulled. Blu could clearly hear Pedro yelling at Arthur to stop moving so he could come over. Finally, Pedro was able to pull Arthur over.

"Hello Blu my boy! Say, your friends know how to throw an excellent party! You should join in on the fun!" Arthur exclaimed, sounding much more ecstatic than the conversation back in the woods. The band suddenly stopped, and Pedro's voice began to speak.

"I'd like you all to meet our new friend Arthur, the newest bird to Rio! Come up here you crazy guy!" Pedro exclaimed, motioning Arthur to come up. Arthur smiled eagerly and flew quickly up to the front.

"Nice to meet all you crazy birds of Rio! Definetly different from where I come from!" Arthur laughed.

"Speaking of that, where ya'll from?" Pedro asked in response to the reporter bird mentioning where he came from.

"Boy, and the boys at home say I ask alot of questions..." Arthur laughed, to which everyone laughed in response.

**Pedro: "Haha, this guy sucks!"**

"Well, I come from a place called Fort Lauderdale, far north from this wonderful little place called Rio. After meeting so many friends, it's incredible just to be able to meet you good birds as well! I can only say thank you so much, because now Pedro and Nico here have got me convinced that I wanna PARTY!"

**Blu: "Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!"**

**Nico: "They may take our lives, better they'll never take our FREEDOM!"**

**Blu: And so forth with EVERY cheesy speech every conceived...**

All the birds cheered in response, and the music once again started once more.

"Thank you my good men! I'm having a wonderful time!" Arthur stated Pedro and Nico, trying to yell over the music playing.

**Blu: "My good men"? Is Arthur from America or medieval France?**

"No problem! Come any time you wanna get down!" Pedro exclaimed back. Arthur smiled and then flew back to the rear of the huge crowd of birds where Blu and Jewel were standing.

"Well, I feel great! I wanna thank you, my friends. Being a bird in this wonderful world of music is nothing short of Heaven! Luck be a McCaw tonight!" Arthur cheered as he began to dance again.

"See, I told you he wasn't a bad guy." Blu bragged to Jewel, who rolled her eyes in response.

"Fine, you were right. Now let's get back to the nest and clean up everything that Mr. Motor-Mouth did..."

**Nico: "And by that, I mean sex"**

**Blu: I'm still amazed that "motor-mouth" is considered an insult...**

...

**Pedro: Alright, so it got worse. Blu?**

**Blu: Well...I mean...I don't know!**

**Nico: 'Course ya don't. This story is bad. Ya shouldn't know.**

**Jewel: Are we going to _continue _this? **

**Blu: I suppose we have to...There's nothing else we can do in this story...**

**Pedro: Except annoy the readers of this thing and extend the note here**

**Nico: This**

**Blu: Story**

**Jewel: Is**

**Pedro: So**

**Blu: Bad**

**Nico: It**

**Pedro: Makes**

**Jewel: Me**

**Blu: Want**

**Nico: To**

**Pedro: Watch**

**Blu: My**

**Nico: Little**

**Pedro: Pony**

**Jewel:...**

**Blu:...What?...**

**...**

***Insert author's note here about some self-righteous crap***


End file.
